the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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