i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize