Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
