Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize