Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
