that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think I just sharted jello shots
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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