absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
