I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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