All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
