I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
