Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
