so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Mom said you looked used
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
