I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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