How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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