What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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