I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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