Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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