apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
