Tell her she can't have a vagina
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
