I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
