I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
