Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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