im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
