Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
