roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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