I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
