I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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