He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
