I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
