i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
