YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Randomize
