WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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