I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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