omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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