Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you would pick up someone in the library
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
