God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
