i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
