Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
