it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize