did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
