just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
