The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
