What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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