Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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