i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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