i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
