did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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