Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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