You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
