$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
