i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
