we have officially mastered the walk of shame
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
