Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
