is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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