shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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