I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Barsexuality is the new black.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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