i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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