I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
