some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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