Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When are your genitals available?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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