the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize