so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
