okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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