so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
