So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
