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• (702): View more from Nevada

  well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

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• (650): View more from California

  we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  god you guys know how to party

  (650): View more from California

  worst. bachelorette party. ever.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number

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• (914): View more from New York

  Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?

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• (716): View more from New York

  I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I am one with the molecules

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• (254): View more from Texas

  We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.

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