i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
