Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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