worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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