Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
