I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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