you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
